When I was 6 years old
I had a crush on my grandma's
Next-door neighbor
She looked like Drew Barrymore
From the movie Never Been Kissed
I found out she was a prostitute
So I went home and stole money
From the cash box in my
Mother's closet
I went back the next day
and offered the money to the
Drew Barrymore lookalike
She smiled
Took the money
and went back inside her house
I stood in the rain
Behind the chainlink fence that
Separated her house and my grandma's
For hours
Until I gave up
Looked at her front door
one last time
and said,
"I guess no one will ever love me”
— Alex Osman is a writer, musician, and photographer from Ohio. He shoots bottle rockets with the singer of Blues Traveler. Published books include Problem Child (ExPat Press) and Scandals (Filthy Loot).