“UNTITLED”

Excerpted from covered in sharpie and suing for peace, available via Pig Roast Publishing

I’m having oral corrective surgery by a doctor who puts the teeth on a necklace and sells them back to you so you can meet your deductible, when I was young and forced to drink blood from a still warm deer happy birthday to future sailors in Davy Jones locker I won a plushy at the fair my skin is freckled and freakish pink “I’m a Nazi” my pussy is dry as a desert I need a man I don’t have the strength I’m actually a self-loathing Jew from the American Southwest I’ve eaten warm flannel and seen the queen she is adept and angular and now a decedent plum nice breeeeeek that’s fine and a dissolved infantile cell block 9 I’m in it to win it Garamond only works for kids books cat the AC is broke, the congresswoman? Don’t finish the joke Donny dark or close or voice or incomprehensible lovelace tit I’m game when DWI/DUI Google freaks here’s the terms it’s a warranty I’m spastic and cold can I borrow an ambien what do you mean borrow you swallow them whole okay can I just have one sure all you had to do was ask I get it I’m a bmx prince hop on my pegs we’ll go to the mall Brady’s brother is a fag and folds shirts at the gap you can’t publish that oh yeah I forgot literature no longer mirrors reality but instead represents utopia hey pet let’s sit on the Seine and get blasted on secret gin among wine purists I will not edit this my thumbs are on fire I’m ignoring texts I’m going too fast this is a book now I’ll chill I want a smoothie I’ll be back I’ll be okay repeat edit like bubble heart crux stuff deer ant penis hedge fund LIAR! berry drank v8 and asked after the thread count what’s your gestalt 2 super demons erupt upon one i am lonely and suburban I will write better than ANY FUCKING AI ya hear I’m on medicine and sun hits intake a lemon drop and morphine drip knock knock nothing it’s too early it’s like 7 fr, {!][ben, hi] like delete to some readers it’s a bore and quite frankly an abomination but I’m still in a used bookstore… maybe baby? You see the deal is I wrote rat ring rung it’s a bell and my kneecap is split it’s not cringe it’s sexy 90210 pursed lips and the living breathing gif cheerleader I’ll DM then I won’t I’ll copy paste sex delete please for the love of god order me a grilled cheese hold the marm a cooks joke hell it’s on you add pickles don’t wedgie me with my thong umberto there’s no way this is getting put online k bye hi sir the reason I pulled you over was that you were driving about 120 MPH and live steaming and I’m one of your followers and I was under the overpass back there and can I have a signature and five grand nice to meet you sir would you mind tagging me my handle is __ so that’s about it it’s a warning I will pistol whip myself goodnight and adieu love is everywhere it’s so wonderful, I am followed on twitter by SS types I am a Christian Jew a goy Jew I am becoming discovering implant a herringbone I will follow God I am convinced of the rabbinic tradition I will jump off a bridge this is the west bank of the university of minnesota I work for a tailor and he’s making me lunch lunch punch crunch me mate thistles in the art of war court is at 9 and we should meet wee child beforehand to go over the plea petition we haven’t met but look for the lawyer in the air Jordan’s IDGAF smiley face killer didn’t get me I’m safe I’m old and not college tread shoelace cholera neck choker Nick choke her/him in and out of blue laser textile factory in Panama you will write a novel and people will love it and people will get laid to it it will be a pillow of sorts the my pillow guy is selling pollen on Craigslist for legal fee BLANCH whip whop Franklin and a buzzard doe drop dense slight fracture your eye is vibrating I have a camera it’s esteemed and I can kind of sing, the necklace the dentist gave me blared in the metal detector jokes on me because the teeth had fillings the river is wide and flooding it’s spring it’s chill I’ll probably keep this one a secret from Manuel he’s a 9-5 shot kidding equilibrium Manuel I’m sorry block me it’s just text it’s not like harassment I miss twitter of 2021 when it was fresh and old mark up a bowling pin string electric montage I like music and I remake everything unremarkable pen and teller white tiger Shaq barked at me and I’m armed crawling and caroling like 1879 pac son has not been invented though it acts as if I’ll get blocked I’m only writing because my friend died it will be over soon and I’ll go back to the law on the beach. To be completely honest you broke my heart and I am wandering the ikea, the posters are still the same the one from Manhattan, &c. flares were considered but not used at the trump arraignment and my beagle has warts i should probably euthanize him but he’s my best friend and loyalties are in vogue I’m reading what I’m writing duh, I’d love to be mansplained to tbh to kind of know what it’s like I bet it’s not that bad I’m sorry I shot my load too soon it should be longer quicker more earnest and BANG BANG chili spilled on these laps I’m running from the cops and kind of walking too i have insane court so early your beard is special let’s walk and chew gum fu Spencer, Larson is dead from the barrel oh really well prove it k I’ll wait this is me standing my ground, click Orlando Florida boom arraignment and then kind of not guilty thanks Your Honoringz do you take cash or beautiful letters come to think of it I could pair water with water and double my profit margin Gabriel has my book I think it’s grammatical fish finder in galoshes tiny used blanket smar sock looped and Ethernet &$, pan me handle Barb have you any I’ll run fast PERIOD, so finally school is out and we all get summer jobs at the park or at the warf but Mary doesn’t apply and instead rides around with Andy and gives him road head and beats the living shit out of him in private at her mom’s house in golden valley it’s wild comma next synthetic people abound just check the timeline babe it’s a rat’s nest, you’re of average weight and horizontal stripes could kill you try a tank on it’s 60 out, s m l xl my what a nice pairing of air walks and braces let’s sin all weekend I bought brats and coors banquet there is a prideful video of me on an iPhone 2 but you’ll never find power for it I’m black and white it’s not immediately apparent nasal congestion is the WORST oh em gee the feral cat is back and he’s in the cereal quip from the neighbor says it looks like snow but that’s just spilled meth Sammy is the poster child for it, for what? fleeing in a motor vehicle of course, hot spin the officers heart rate jumped but the policy prohibited giving chase anywhere in the city it’s a crime-infested wasteland bordering on vigilante paradise stolen lawn signs and all IN THIS HOUSE WE BELIEVE IN THE SCIENCE OF BALLISTICS that’s so obvious beware dog street light BANG one for the night a casing and footsteps hideous sexed out milf lawyer with a spirit of adventure and a floating kidney peloton goddess on a lark from depositions with the climax king objections to injections all tame and half cremated even while living stardust to stardust, cultural observations while stuck in tinnitus hell, bum a cig sure here’s a dollar don’t worry about it thanks you have a hint of the speed stick thanks doubly here’s to living in clover and loving life and people fr, did you know that math isn’t math anymore it’s half social now and kind of awkward in conversation that checkbook ledger you have is laughable, +/- nota bene.

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Send dick pics pls, yeah right it’s a trap I’m a deer in the headlights though here’s one without my face thanks, are you there well nice knowing you and thanks for the technical juice subject matter is spinning place your finger on the globe and you’ll live where you land I promise, deep lung this joint king we have three hours before the flight I’ve never been to davos we’ll get there come what may I don’t care if we have to borrow ted’s duck boat he’s a midwest fiasco but he’s fair and reasonable and fresh out of jail give me that bomb beat I remember relentlessly wife-hunting at age 22 in a packed college bar while TI ripped through you can do whatever you like, I’m paraphrasingly tellingly jet tell you cock, and I fell from a balcony and plummeted into a group of long island junkies (the drink not the place) from the U, I was a small private liberal arts college imposter and hack sue me, I’m oldish now, my neighbor toddrick, with her daily door/dash, masked to the hilt the queen of vaccine we have nothing in common I’ll eat you whole this is the highest realm of art it was nice to meet you what’s your tat about? [dead silence] – k. no joke my friend from college got an email like 20 years after graduation from his college girlfriend and she was on some kind of spiritual journey she told him she fucked everything with a pulse on campus while they were together and she’s healed now and charges a flat fee of $7,000 for something called Christ Money Sunrise she is so simultaneously cringe and sincere I’m convinced she is Lucifer part of it is the eyes there’s no distinction where the pupil meets the iris just giant black spots inside the white madhouse I am usually drawn to insanity but there’s a part of her brain that is broken in such a way as to make her a nightmarish exception.

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I am running through the night with you – slicker and sleeper mudge won’t move jump over him take a piss burn oil I’m on fire and my loins are my lungs knee-bend turn high twist reach useless binge goodnight penny and goodnight moon, spark thrust treasury and realize you are the one I have always wanted you are everything to me it’s as if I’m 16 and the world is enormous vast and unknown we are holding fingers and running like mad through the forest and the music is permitting human flight starlight til morning I am crushed pill high somatic scream I love you I LOVE YOU!

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I’m on a boat johnson trolling motor it’s august and I subsist on keg beer bath salts and a blow-up doll in the likeness of jeremy fuck that, handicap and push to open, ka-REEEEEEN!

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A bevy of theses manifestos, about 99 – the original and 98 facsimiles, rascally they are and once they swallowed, they are duct-taped all over the neighborhood to screen doors, it was probably that squarehead martin anderson from big lake lol

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Sucking on used dumpster fentanyl patches glorifying legos and trump stump speeches and the moon also rises but kind of stays put, an ampersand for your thoughts the movie BIG the piano keys yeah I’m high and you drop puns on socials and are a twitter nightmare the #writingcommunity is a fiction there are only lonely ghosts they should all just play chess or go swimming GO AWAY MONSTER! Good afternoon this is jack’s deli how may I direct your call to the chatXYZ there’s jam in the kettle again I’m sick and hungry and you’re stuck on real world audition tapes that you got on eBay I want to float on a mountaintop with special laser-bred liver monsters from hell (South Carolina) hi Otis your friend is dead but here’s a bag of jolly ranchers you can use your sick leave it’s fine, this is literally chapter 10, you look good babe, thanks [immediately looks for the looking glass], mommy wants a gin and seven and I love everybody in this house, I’m sad I’m needy I am a leech a cocksucking tick that will suck blood for its own ends no Ai will ever do this and if they/them does, it won’t mean nothing cause they’re wires and not sinew and they dined like a tech prince and didn’t need to suffer Ai can never suffer, never forget that, I have painful back mice and they’re too expensive to excise, no savings, calamitous dread, guilt, and a micro penis maybe it’s payback for smoking in your moms house and telling her to eat dick when you were 13, she was an old alcoholic and you were just budding in the art of the drink, we both wore her mascara.

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What’s the coverage? what of the trial or your cell I’ll cannonball from an office tower truth babe I’m sounding nasally b/c I’m online my six kids walked in on me eating glue next to the springer-poodle mix we’ll name him soon it’s just a dog relax babe do we have any red blends if not I can make a run but prolly shouldn’t drive it’s fine it’s close by I’m dynamic and field sobriety tests ain’t shit brb, I’m back why is that window open that crooked cop Jarod ridin through the hood with the sliding door open and shooting stun rounds from his shotgun and knocking tricks out they slippers I saw it first hand in 2020 leg presses to a kate bush song okay Ranya the reason I haven’t friends is I turn the screw on everyone even my wife I’m insufferable and needy loud annoying and medium tan Byron the Kisser had an allergic reaction to the judge but he was just an alternate so they let him go it was nearly female on female terrorism indict me I’ll commit suicide at sentencing the gsr testing got me that’s gun shot residue for the uninitiated this is all paregoric written from my Subaru with bitters I take it back all of it this is short and to the point I’ll suck lint from my navel fr I’m a sandwich artist and psychopathic misbranded corporate head hunter who was once on pawn stars and got fucked over fml I do not fear alcohol and the night I fear the night because of what I will DM you sweet prince WADE! respect the world and it will unfold sputtering idols Marisa Rodriguez is based and basted liver chop exploration tangible fixtures a logical fallacy but S. never studies and slouched off all four years mostly club drunk but found literature in his 40s may the light of the earth shine on him I love Florida like I really like it but I couldn’t live there western civilization is imploding as a result of western civilization and everyone knows it but a small cadre of rich nihilists gaslights a nation into believing it isn’t happening the wall of propaganda at the public library is straight Mao, I’ve seen it, you’ve seen it, we’ve all seen it, it’s the same as the display window at the bookstore horrifying and worse, one note, do you mind? What’s Napoleon doing here idk he’s thinking of giving us some territory called Louisiana if we back his bitch ass on the high sea or something against you know who, if NPR is talking about your book it’s bad there of course are exceptions like hurricane season by Fernanda Melchor witch cunt queen the three words I can recall from her book at present one of the best books I’ve read you should too in fact put this down and take a break I’m bleeding into your soul you won’t be the same in fact if you had certainty that if you continued to read this sentence and knew you’d be cursed, would you? it’s too late I’ll now devour you like a sex skin small filaments will be felt in the mouth mine as I chew any last words of course makers mark spot fine a drop start a fire for real just light one and torch a structure in some bitch ass county my cousin is a rug merchant forget it BLIM blam for the Qanon shaman impetus for early release move on mark ass bitch ass hoe ass mark Christmas twice a year I don’t care mental illness is a thing I SAID I DON’T CARE k fine see you in the car wash AM radio ritz Carlton shplunk I’m Ginny how may i direct your sociopathy hung up on a line parallel universe one stamp two I’m game but have to be in by 10 blazing amid grass fires run for it we’re almost there local leaders address uptick in domestic homicides, all of them wives killing husbands, reverse Bluebeards hatchet hi, am ambiguous it’s traditional in a way put me in a show I’ll do the audition in my sleep I am a believer coconut rum for the generalissimo down the block the captain he is making his rounds and calling the city on all manner of code violators he’s a peacock his plume is carhartt and his soul is what it is.

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I saw a hidden copper god in the purse of your ex next to the one hitter plus she’s flush ya know she bought Kaye’s smoke blue range saw her at Wendy’s she spilled the purse in line and I helped and also pocketed her rabbits foot lol she told me she was busy with race census forms and I kind of just left with a little of her property as I’ve indicated you feel me, I’m a little how you say – chilaxed – because I’m off parole and Rodney isn’t around anymore so I won’t get caught up in some shit well maybe he’s apparently down in boca staying at his grandma’s condo and has like 10 warrants out he’s so fucking naive he thinks he can just show up to court and make it all go away by smooth talking the city prosecutors he thinks he’s suave b/c he was once the supreme allied commander of a deny’s cook line I am extremely private none of this is real, these are not confessions nor the revelations of the innermost thoughts I am guarded, secretive, hidden, occult, you won’t know me, my social security number 617-23-2998 I want my identity stolen I am bored I want to go to war with the automated and sometimes human phone trees, my friend Kami short for Kamyar we were in his 1990 Honda Accord they were tiny box cars back then we’re driving you and I aquemini and the minnesota state flag slowly sweeps across the windshield I spill fries in my lap and he laughs we’re baked now 20+ years later I am a criminal defense lawyer and he’s in prison in a coastal state gee thunk and think where will you be after you divest your hands of me and bid fair riddance al ye triumphant swells my attitude toward change is mostly proud Old West I guess but I admit some change is good definitely I guess change can be good and it can be bad it is not a virtue itself my Latin poppycock is dice squared table leg fits a penny pot countenance from decades of dry gin and sore losing taxes building and the buses are electrical and heated this is overt and dire solipsism by the way, what exists outside of me well nothing and everything ask sam the genius he’s at the arcade slamming root beer and hunting fallen prize tickets for plastic china baubles and also waxing in his rogue tongue to single moms on plato his shtick, it works, so what, give him a break he fell from a tree and has a kind of tick, “he’s one of the worst individuals on earth.” why? “he doesn’t follow back.” oh okay you should really get your oil changed that’s code it’s April hollerrrrrrrrr, skeeze my suit my fancy I’m Dan no I’m not telephone braggart ring ring dial tone wood pussy Larson fling grapeshot with the archbishop oh Henry don’t say that build me a cross and will you at least consider the hamster don’t plant before May 1st in case there’s a frost, you know, you are on my last nerve I will plant these sunflowers if I want, the kids want them and they’re going in period I’m sorry about last night I was in a bad mood and money is tight plus I was in a bar earlier and it seems I’m not the temptress I once was it’s depressing to not get the looks anymore I’d pay to get cat called in just about any state in the union.

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these walls are so thin i have to hear all that fucking bellyaching as i plan for the deposition of the Ikea guy, he’s swell and his thigh gap is worth a fortune, it’s why you see him on rock the vote, but it doesn’t go to his head, in fact every single meal he’s eaten he buys extra and leaves a chair for elijah the prophet may his memory be a blessing my gun has no serial number it wasn’t my choice i’ll plead the fifth over appetizers i promise, dean was down in the bowry with something of the sort and he hoisted pam on his shoulders so she could see and dead said “that wet smack Johnson plays her pretty steady” and then detonated his dynamite, but was forgotten about not even one wee generation hence which you should take as a lesson don’t be a plebe and don’t fuck around you don’t have all the time in the world, most of the earth is a gambling establishment of one variety or another, i know you have a special language: put it on a putty knife and play the strings for me just don’t do heroin and stop hanging out with peter he used to fag along with all kinds of sorts who will bluff you into self-castration you need to keep up appearances and give up your bitch lamp or you’ll end up like percy who found a head in a bucket and went swimming in notebooks and ended up writing the greatest book about human suffering in the western canon. what was that one song you liked oh yeah jumper it was cool i even read the sheet music with my old boyfriend lomax he was really into lo-fi audio and anorexia scenes, the whole relationship was like a circus parade and he always talked about dying in orgasm in a bathroom in laguardia ticket-free, he was at bottom a catamite not even fit for a logging camp and i’m sorry he’s gone and it was just like henri to brag at the funeral in his thursday best, a black turtle neck and fake chain, the only money to his name was the michigan roll in his pocket, yeah i drank wine with john so what so sue me, i’m blushing donchaknow i want to move back to fargo but only for like one or two seasons, visit st. luke’s hospital and make a scene like the artist i am i could find a beautiful squarehead bottleman and probably _____ but get run out of town for being taboo and derogatory: “he got cockeyed under the stars of Heaven Your Honor, and showed his rosebud to the whole bus,” et cetera et cetera.

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What I’m really into are huge spur of the moment revenge scenes like when Meghan dyed her hair ginger red and went vamping at the Marquette for beer money and dick, and her boyfriend Trevor showed up and damn near killed her okay it’s not really revenge but you know what I mean for my own part I’m banned from owning guns but there’s an exception for muzzle loaders and I’m keeping my powder dry IF YOU OPENED A FORTUNE COOKIE IN 1988 IT MAY HAVE BEEN CONSTRUCTED ENTIRELY FROM ASBESTOS AND YOU MAY BE ELIGIBLE FOR COMPENSATION, I’m tired and half way to 80 it’s the hill’s peak and the dow is down I’m wrapped in a fake bear rug watching Wes Anderson just kidding I’m in a car wash with Lonny his Range Rover is gorgeous his doctor is tied up in the back, something about cheating, I’m just the lawyer lol we have about 500 miles in front of us and I’m responsible for the map and the subways and the motel and the water breaks but I can only bill for the time we talk it’s 8:27 and I should probably mark down the .2 for our talk in the wash I’ll have a bacon cheddar ranch on white with everything but hold the mustard and love me fierce please, there is something that needs to come out of me and is coming out of me I am a landowner and patriot who can recite the entire lil Troy album sittin fat down south he works in construction now in Texas there is a typo in a master p track on all the lyrics web sites about doing “fair time” when it’s really “fed time” I DM’d him about it and never heard back he’s a normie in wolf’s clothing, no Josh, the last thing I need is a guys night I want those fucking lyrics acknowledged forever maybe I’ll put them on my headstone in protest and now my will needs a codicil it’s okay though it’s a small change and worth it flip a coin we both say heads, I’m bout it, but do it over babe, for sure I’ll have another, a gin with gunpowder please and a paper straw, I am intellectually invincible it’s my copy of letters from America and also some help from Voltaire, au revoir, pet.

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This application is crazy I want to eat your heart but I’ll settle for this used rawhide I am basically a Sagittarius and cannibal it’s 20 years later so I’ll text friends from high school they know the score and none of the numbers have changed she hit me with all her strength all she’s got captain Jesus holy on high I’m tearing up I’ve lost everyone and HE’S DEAD! I will go on I have to, I have kids and a wife and routines if you reach out to me by DM I will be flattered but I will ultimately ignore I’m sorry and shallow let’s order the ribs in spirit I can’t be there daddy loves you though simultext me babe, I am on a chaise lounge covered in old navy clearance and AR-15s chew pouch spit slit gut rot slut not for one and one for used sporting goods every person who has suffered from low T and hubris writes something similar to being stuck in 90210-slow-death so lock in the menu but glad tbh it’s incredible what the people in Los Angeles put up with their government could tell them to all wear orange for a month for some unknown reason and they’d all do it in their strung out pharma hellscape, “hey this is Colette from the government, we’re going to need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday in your orange bodysuit” to which “OKAY COLETTE IMA GOOD CITIZEN!” and then “LETS GO OUT FOR GOAT CHEESE BALLS AND TIP 100%” sewage cresting ma was a creator even with her Mossberg 12 gauge BLAM I so miss her sooth-saying and sloth boyfriend Marcelo, but sidebar, by this point in human history most things unconventional are a bad idea, but OH BABy I’m a ham – sotto voce and kind of out of pocket: “hi handsome, okay one shot of Jameson, and keep a secret, I want to find God more than you want air, I am a judge penitent but reformed I gave up books and am saving up for the in-ground pool and walk-in humidor and a rare little Siamese for old gang-bang over there” (points to his wife).

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Make a b line drunky articulate swap rugs for the season k my client was sent to prison today, remanded right there and the judge had spiked hair and a deadly twinkle in her eye, she gaveled and pronounced and adjudicated him away like shoo shoo you and deputy thx hair spray elections all of it a cycle I fear god. This is folderol & elementary fr might even be as you say, apropos of a knocking, my ex put a hex fine jugs and 3.2 beer runs freak, “k.” Had the pleasure of meeting you in the gambling hell of courtroom 2D, you were jittery with coffee and the bailiff shat a plate plenty, deceased and brought back, well, this is short and as it should be, esquirely. A fine new sentence, beautiful, for you, for the season fortify yourself vitamin d junkie pablum warts come fix Milady my joinder ex parte pleasure fix white angel on heaven dust keep syntax don’t change it

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I just made out with her and it felt illegal

Bro, it was illegal

Oh yeah lol we hit the club or wat

Ya

K

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one of my homies you’ll pardon the term was chuck the communist at the liberal arts school we used to get buzzed and scream at each other because he was a pacifist and I wanted all the oil in Iraq I’m dating myself I’m a flunky with crisp ones and a buttered toast habit old hockey sticks old hockey everything the smell the upper thighs calves stolen hair cream of the crop top jettison love triangle assistant coach greg is a disgusting swamp creature and the back of his ancient tahoe reeks of masturbation and stolen youth, his tiny license plate frame that says bitches beware, but he’s ready to walk down the aisle if he meets the right one since his third divorce lol, the last outgoing text from his phone before he went and did six months jail was “don’t show your parents this, I’m sweating my nuts off.”

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Tristram Randy, a b&w snuff film I downloaded on KaZaA then BearShare emaculate code and Randy got snuffed almost delicately and the chat bot still light years away Rand was beautiful for his neutrality he was like a walking Switzerland he’s buried in San Rafael I haven’t been in like forevs, I regret that time at LAX where we picked him up he clearly wanted to make out but all I gave him was a hug. You’re free to set me on fire. It was never him. It was you. You’re my person.

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Et tois you are a soft heated wood floor in a kitchen and I am happy now, I experienced white heat over three days up north in a cabin a mix of misery and ecstasy but the output was what it was and i had e & j mixed with cola and watched dateline dog barking kill him march madness is madness ncaa clothed vondrukes the emperor of Japanese models halogen crisp ones unbox me bro the art for kids dad on youtube is secretly an authoritarian from hell and reigns over his family like a vampire for the sake of money a dollar sign in the canthi of his liquid sable eyes my mitochondria are on strike scab yells my body mid-thrust in other business every last one of you scamps eat veggies and sin the ayatollah in the woodchipper in the inn in the state in the night my crotch rocket got me laid how bout u oh I get it your kid is 8 and better than every person born before her I will write sounds

ooh
Larpingjso
Dis
Maaaaaaaan
Smell
Captcha
Is Brenda someone who is an exception to the rule?
Kendos
Lol
What did happen?
Dude it’s marsupial
And Janet
Fuck that you’re biased
Nah but jealous
Remember those two guys who were driving around DC and shooting people from the trunk of a car?
kind of.

Yeah but I have to get up early leave me alone, JESUS to be a good lawyer you have to have a likable face ima failure 4 shoor someone I can trust pocket square fag the cigarette not the guy chill out Chris Christine is annoying I meant that still so please send an ambulance I’m bionic and loud I’ll don a hat and self-incriminate and delta score hard questions funky walleye it doesn’t make sense. To this day Julia Child and my wife says can you put so and so to bed, her mouth is moving and I’m trapped like a fly in the web hi Dustin Mona Lisa for sure I’m bad at math but talented at home depot runs esquire abomination I’ll talk all night justin got popped and rolled on like some mark ass bitch Cassidy evangelize twitter hi Milady Stuart Buck scissor sister tile flooring and a remodel can you please turn that down I’m trying to wake up snuff me babe it’s a video gold toed socks and chevy broncos are back in I am a filthy gun owner I play the harp and weave in and out of traffic no big deal you’re mean, chelsea clinton or was it rod but whatevs she’s alright pinto floss uber cram tar flummery dance triage my wound babe le toil du nord fag standup rock paper blanche kardashian I tweet something low key and ambiguous but it’s actually an explicit cry out expressly to Your Grace and honoring junkie coke bake handlebar and pegs stayed hand of the cavorting troop hush puppy abyss what even are you bluetooth freakish rouge left an imprint develop the photos on a safe path get caught with a gaggle of exhibitionist photos developed at walgreens the budding development of an unregistered sex offender and Democratic Socialist, Umbertos’ luckless cabin crush, the guileful beach painter with the long pinky nail freaking on everyone red-eyed and the like, the beeze neeze 4-tune plocks and mocks steady-drip, you’ve read me this far but do you know that I literally have never used the R word?

— Adam Johnson lives in Minneapolis.

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