When I was a little boy, I plunged my hand into the shark tank. 

Fearlessly, I pet tiger sharks as they swam by until a panicked assistant rushed me out of the water. No guest is allowed in the aquarium shark tank. Since then, I’ve become afraid of sharks. Now, a shark might bite me. But then, with infinite faith, angels held me safe. 

This summer I went to a lake in Montana and watched a little boy flip his canoe into icy water. Heroically I dove in and assured the boy that everything was okay. He wasn’t crying because the water was cold, or because he flipped his boat, but because there are sharks in the water. 

This summer I swam in the ocean at Ventura Beach, California. Sharks were on my mind, but I wasn’t so afraid. I looked up at the sky, and guess what I saw: Shark-Shaped Blimp. Great, Shark in the Sky. I screamed. 

Imagine floating on a houseboat and the floor falls out from under you. Through a gaping hole you see a big set of jaws coming up from the abyss … a space waiting for you to fill it. Are you afraid?! 

Gaping mouth of mother 

upward towards me 


Humans flock to water. We come from water, and go back in. But unlike the womb, the ocean is cold and inside is a shark. We still go in. There’s always a potential snake in the garden, so become a dragon slayer. 

Lovers Point, California: Shark attacks man in water. Heroic surfers ride their boards into bloody water to rescue man. Paddle to fight slithering creature below. Man is saved. 

One day I might plunge into the shark tank. Be Not Afraid. Trust the angels who protect that aquarium boy and Grow Up a Dragon-Slaying Knight in shark waters with Great Courage saving someone out there afraid.

— Crooner is a descendent of King Arthur teaching boys to live laugh love while Himself learning to heal romantic relations on the meta. He believes in the ‘Heropilled’ philosophy and considers Himself an ‘e-xistentialist’ of the 21st century. Recently described as ‘angelic-looking’, he is now looking for angels. He can be found online under username @heropilled or on YouTube by searching up ‘Crooner E-Girls’.